By Sarah Cowgill

Former Secretary of State John Kerry was spotted arrogantly carrying on shadow diplomacy with Iran, Hollywood starlets Susan Sarandon and Debra Messing exploded into a spitting catfight over President Trump, and Americans mocked with a vengeance as Nike doubled down on their latest ad campaign featuring Colin Kaepernick.

It was a busy week for flyover folks – so many fools, so little time to educate the masses.  But they did give a darn good try.

John Kerry

Delusions of Grandeur

Dear John Kerry; what were you thinking as you trotted around the globe chatting up Iranian officials, such as Iran’s Foreign Minister, Javad Zarif, and asking for patience until a Democrat is elected president?

Kerry had an answer: “What I have done is tried to elicit from him what Iran might be willing to do in order to change the dynamic in the Middle East for the better.”  Or, in hopes of having the deal he helped concoct come back to life in a selfish and self-serving way, he stepped all over his president without batting an eye.

Kerry claims it is “done all the time” once someone has been Secretary of State.

And, of course, that did not sit well with conservatives.

Jennifer Cain from Ohio wandered into enemy territory when she started a discussion on Facebook with this observation: “In case you didn’t know it….This is illegal and John Kerry should be arrested.”

She was swiftly reminded of the double standard conservatives face daily by Shawn Rush of Louisville, Kentucky, who replied, “It is most certainly not illegal! He is a Democrat, they are above laws and such things! You’ll probably go to fb jail for this you know.”

But it quite possibly is illegal.  And this is where the wicket gets sticky.  The Logan Act.

Enacted in 1799, the Logan Act prohibits private citizens from negotiating on behalf of the U.S. government without authorization.  Seems clear enough, though no one seems to have ever been successfully prosecuted under this law, as it’s darn hard to prove if conversations behind the backs of current U.S. government officials has resulted in harm for America.

Illegal?  That will continue to be hotly debated.  It is however, shameful.

Just Do It Some More

All Americans were entertained by the millions of patriots who cried foul over Nike’s decision to make the oppressed, downtrodden, and Trump trounced Colin Kaepernick the poster child of their famous tagline, “Just Do It.”

Releasing an ad campaign designed to elicit hope – yeah, the audacity – the B-rated former quarterback’s face, complete with determined expression and the words “Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything,” superimposed across his mug, Nike had high hopes of cashing in.

And they may have, as stocks rose a skosh this past week.  But the real win was the release of a meme firestorm that had those few Americans left with a sense of humor sharing their “fixed it” versions.

There were two winners on Facebook with flyover folks.  One featured Olympic ice skater rivals, Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding, with the caption, “Believe in something, even if it means taking a knee.”  Of course, a snarky reference to the scandal of 1994 as Kerrigan was whacked in the knee just prior to the U.S. Olympic trials.  And Harding was part of the hit squad – having known about the impending attack.

The New Mexico social media soldiers reacted with hysterical emojis, numerous likes, and from one woman who has asked to remain nameless, “I literally peed my pants when I saw this!”  Yes, perhaps it is best to let her stay anonymous.

The second favorite of Midwesterners was the image of Mrs. Clinton with a serious expression plastered on her face as she stares intently at a laptop screen. The caption reads, “Delete everything. Even if it means you lose everything.”

Comments were mostly positive, except for one feminist, whose profile picture was of her in a pink pussy hat: “Please leave her alone. This triggers me.” Yes, they are out there my friends.

Cat Fight!

Finally, patrons of a local gas station in Tilton, Illinois had a good laugh over Debra Messing lecturing Susan Sarandon for not hating President Trump.  Two middle-aged gals read comments aloud, including swear words, so that everyone might enjoy their brand of jocularity.

Messing, of Will and Grace sitcom fame, was unhinged over Sarandon tweeting non-hostile, non-violence-inciting-hate against the duly elected Trump.

Sarandon made the grave error of accepting an interview with Variety, who, of course, used her words as a click bait Twitter headline, claiming that Sarandon said, “Trump inspired more women and people of color to run for office.”

Donald Trump has, if anything, inspired more women and people of color to run for office, says actress Susan Sarandon #VarietyStudio presented by @att at #TIFF18 pic.twitter.com/eVIsI9kAWe

— Variety (@Variety) September 12, 2018

But Sarandon was not impressed by Messing’s childish tirade and even schooled her on journalism 101, retorting, “Debs, before you get yourself all self-righteous try clicking on the video and listening to what I actually say, not @Variety’s clickbait headline, which btw has no quotation marks. That’s a clue…”

That reply is snigger-worthy.

Until Jack, 65, joined in the conversation while snacking on a corndog, “I like a good, solid, cat fight with scratching, and yowling, and cursing.  Gets my blood flowing.”

I’ll just end this report right here.  Thanks, Jack.

Read More - Flyover Comedy: John Kerry, Nike, and the Sarandon/Messing Catfight at Liberty Nation.

Published Date

Categories